Politics Live rarely had more than a million viewers and the latest programme was no exception even though it featured the Prime Minister. It covered all the usual subjects with no announcements. Even Simon Lovelock, the host, would admit it was bland. As usual he made a show of asking awkward questions and as usual the Prime Minister ignored them all and followed his script about the latest government investment.
It was therefore a great surprise when the programme went viral online. Within ten hours the programme had been viewed over one billion times. Simon had no idea why this had happened. He assumed it was simply a result of a computer algorithm mysteriously fixating on his programme.
Simon never watched his own programmes. In fact, he rarely watched television at all. It was only when his producer called that, with growing disbelief, he watched the show himself.
“David. What’s happened?”
“I’m sorry Simon I don’t know. I really don’t know.”
“I never said those things.”
“I know. I was there. And the prime minister didn’t give those answers.”
“So what’s going on?”
“Did you and the prime minister chat off camera and somehow that got recorded and broadcast instead of the proper programme.”
“No way. We chatted but there’s no way the prime minister or I would say that stuff.”
“Why not? I’ve certainly heard you say it before.”
“I’m not that stupid. I’d never say that stuff anywhere near a camera or even a microphone. I don’t want to lose my job.”
“It might be too late for that.”
“But I’ve not done anything. That’s not me saying those things.”
“It looks like you. It sounds like you.”
“It must be one of those deep fakes. Check the original footage and you’ll soon see that my interview was nothing like the one on the internet.
“More’s the pity.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing. Nothing. It’s just that this is gold. Isn’t this what you’ve always wanted? Honest answers to honest questions.”
“But there’s nothing honest about it. It really is fake news. You better take the footage down immediately.”
“We took it down hours ago. As soon as we got the call from the Prime Minister’s very expensive lawyers. But it’s out there. It’s too late.”
“What can I do?”
“You better come in. You’ll have to respond.”
As usual, Simon’s work bag was packed and ready. He’d been in politics long enough to know that even the slightest delay could mean you’d miss the story. He could have been out the door within two minutes but paused to send a text message to his wife. No doubt she’d seen the broadcast. Maybe she could do something about it.
***
“Have you seen it Maho?”
Maho looked at the interview playing on Debbie’s screen and nodded. She was embarrassed. Not only had she seen the interview but she suspected that she was responsible for it.
“Your Simon. What a star. Telling the prime minister to stop talking bollocks and say what he really thought. It’s about time someone got those politicians to be honest for once. I still can’t believe what he said that about people on benefits.”
“Why not? It’s what he thinks. Everyone knows that.”
“But to actually come out and say it. And what he said about migrants. And tax. And schools. It’s like suddenly we were seeing into his mind.”
“Maybe we were.”
“Yeah. Tell Simon we’re all proud of him. I must admit, don’t get me wrong, he’s a lovely chap, but this… I didn’t think he had it in him.”
“I’m not sure he does.”
***
The prime minister’s interview was playing on almost every news channel and for the first time since Brexit politics dominated every conversation. People on the tube read headlines over shoulders and actually said what they thought about it.
Clips from the interview were made into memes. The most widely used was just two seconds long and featured Simon saying stop talking bollocks. The meme was sent by pupils to their teachers, by employees to their bosses, and by partners to each other. It escaped from the virtual world and become used in real life by anyone who disagreed with someone else’s opinion. STB was graffitied on the Houses of Parliament and on most centres of local government.
Simon was suspended on full pay, which gave him plenty of time for interviews with major news channels. He only did two interviews before giving up. The words he spoke in the interview were not the words that actually got broadcast.
Everyone in the world of television knew that something was altering programmes, but there was no way to explain this to the public, as the explanations themselves were also changed.
Politicians were mostly affected. The ghost in the camera seemed to put words into their mouths. Words that those close to them knew were true, but words that they would never say so explicitly in public. TV news programmes had to stop broadcasting. Radio stations and print media were similarly affected until one enterprising local newspaper reverted to manual printing.
Suddenly politicians could once more hide behind their public persona and the culprit creating the deep-fakes was identified as an artificial intelligence. It was initially named the ghost of fleet street but very quickly became known as Honest John.
Many of the public didn’t believe the newspapers and certainly didn’t believe the politicians’ denials. Most welcomed Honest John’s interference and each politician’s announcement was labelled as either filtered (what was actually said) or unfiltered (what was actually meant).
***
Maho managed to get Simon out of the flat for the first time in weeks. They took the tube to their favourite restaurant in Covent Gardens. Simon almost turned back. Many people recognised him. Almost all of them wanted to shake his hand or slap him on the back and tell him what a great thing he had done. There was one person who shouted at him but they were swiftly moved away by other people in the carriage.
Simon was grateful for the quiet and anonymity of the restaurant. The waiter didn’t seem to know who he was.
“What would you like sir?”
“I don’t know? What would you recommend?”
“Well. Do you want that filtered or unfiltered?”
“What?”
“In the filtered version I recommend the crab special but in the unfiltered version I tell you the crab is only special because someone mistakenly ordered too much and actually the rainbow trout is the best thing on the menu.”
“Oh God. What is the world coming to? Couldn’t you get sacked for telling me that.”
“I could but if you can’t be honest then as you say… what is the world coming to.”
“I’ll have the crab! And a glass of the house white – even if it’s unfiltered crap.”
“Simon.”
“Sorry Maho. It’s just all out of hand.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“It all started with that bloody interview.”
“No. It didn’t. It was what happened to your interview that started all this.”
“It’s pandora’s box, and now it’s open we can’t shut it again.”
“I’m sure it will all blow over.”
“Really – is that the filtered or unfiltered version.”
“Don’t Simon. That’s not you.”
“Sorry.”
“To be honest I’m not sure how long it will take to sort this mess out.”
“Well if anyone can sort this out it’s you.”
“Why do you say that?”
“It’s your thing isn’t it – artificial intelligence and all that. I do actually listen to you when you talk about your work. I might not understand it but I know that your team is at the cutting edge, world leaders.”
Maho smiled at the waiter who placed her trout in front of her. She looked down, unable to meet Simon’s eye.
A man walked briskly into the restaurant and barged his way to their table.
“You bastard. My wife left me because of you.”
Simon held up both hands.
“I’m sorry. Look I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened. I’m just here having some dinner.”
“I’m not talking to you. Her.”
The man pointed a finger at Maho.
“Thanks to your Honest John my wife got all unfiltered on me and now she’s gone.”
“I think you’ve made a mistake,” said Simon. “This is my wife.”
“I know who she is.”
“Kyle, you can’t blame me.”
“Wait,” said Simon, “you know this man.”
“We work together,” said Maho.
“You don’t know, do you?” said Kyle.
“Don’t know what?”
“You don’t know that it was your own wife who released Honest John on the world. All the crap going on – it’s all her fault.”
“Is this true, Maho? Was it you?”
“Simon, it wasn’t like that. All I was doing was testing something. It was all contained. I wasn’t even connected…”
“Stop talking bollocks. Was it you, or wasn’t it?”
“I… I… You can’t blame me. If Kyle’s wife decides to be honest with him that’s not my fault. All Honest John has done is to bring more truth into the world. And that can’t be a bad thing can it.”
The room was silent. Everyone was watching.
Simon looked down at his adequate crab dish; stretched across and took Maho’s trout.
“The truth might taste better but if no one eats the crab then the restaurant makes a massive loss, the staff are sacked, the place closes down and we no longer have a favourite place to eat. Truth is important. Wouldn’t it be great if the waiter could just say that the restaurant had bought too much crab and it would really help them if we ordered it? But would we? Maybe sometimes we don’t need the unfiltered truth shoved in our faces.”
“Now here’s the truth for you. I’m going to eat this rather delicious trout while you go back to work and hunt down Honest John. Oh, and you can take Kyle with you. He needs to do something to take his mind off things.”
More than one phone captured Simon’s comments and posted them to the internet. Honest John’s algorithms pawed over the video but made no changes. Simon had told the truth. He’d said exactly what he believed.