“What’s happening?”
“It’s still not doing anything.”
“Have you clicked on it?”
“Course I have. It’s just whirling round. I think the wifi must be down.”
“The egg is about to hatch. If we don’t film it now there’s no second chance.”
“Hang on. Something’s happening. Yes. It’s working.”
Dan took a breath to calm himself, glanced down at his clipboard and began to read from his prepared speech.
“Today in this special live podcast you will witness history being made. This is the moment when Jurassic Park comes to life. We are resurrecting Raphus cucullatus. But don’t worry folks, it’s not a dinosaur. Raphus cucullatus is better known as the dodo. Extinct since 1662 but coming soon to a breakfast table near you.”
Dan laughed.
“That was a joke. Although dodo eggs weigh as much as twenty-five hen’s eggs, so just think about the omelette you could make.”
Dan saw slight movement in the egg. He pointed and Jordan zoomed the camera in. The egg cracked apart and the first dodo to be born for almost 400 years emerged covered in sticky yellow goo.
Dan continued to read through his prepared speech while Jordan moved the camera to capture the best views of the dodo. Dan was still in full flow when the tablet beeped and Jordan signalled that it was time to wrap things up.
“How was it?” said Dan.
“Fantastic. We started with over one thousand viewers and ended with over one hundred thousand. That’s our biggest audience ever.”
And is that what matters to you?
Both Dan and Jordan looked around to see who was speaking.
You’ve just resurrected an extinct species. And for what? To increase your audience? This is so typical of you lot. Exploiting dodos for your own ends.
Dan was worried that an activist had got through security but their lab was so small that no one could be hiding in it.
“Is it coming through the tablet?” he whispered.
Jordan didn’t think so but turned the tablet off anyway.
Now before we go any further I want an attorney.
“What? Why? And who are you?”
Down here you dumb dumb. I am dodo.
“You’re the dodo talking?”
I am not the dodo – I am dodo. I am every dodo that every lived. Every dodo that was killed by greedy humans. And I want justice. I want compensation. I want my island back.
Dan was sure this was a wind up. The newly hatched dodo was lying on its towel looking helpless. Its beak was open and it was making a rather loud squawky sort of noise. He passed it a bit of palm fruit which was believed to be what dodos ate. The dodo snatched it from his hand almost taking some of his finger as well.
Don’t think you can get round me with food. It’ll take more than that.
He couldn’t work out where the voice was coming from. It seemed to just arrive in his head. It definitely wasn’t the dodo. The dodo was busy eating.
Ha. What do you know about it? What is in front of you is just the manifestation of dodo. Just the conduit for dodo consciousness. And after 400 hundred years I’ve got a lot to say.
“Right. Good to know. We’re just popping out and we’ll be back to hear what you have to say shortly.”
Dan pulled Jordan out of the door and along the corridor.
“Is it you?”
“What?”
“Doing all this ‘I am dodo’ malarkey.”
“Course not. It’s the dodo. Didn’t you hear what it said?”
“Yeah right. Of course. How silly of me. It’s the dodo.”
“Dan. Think about it. This is even bigger. This is Nobel prize territory.”
“You can’t seriously expect me to believe that our new-born dodo chick is inhabited by the spirit of dodo and somehow able to talk English, even though the dodo was endemic to Mauritius.”
“It’s a bird. What language do you expect it to speak? Hah, pigeon English!
“Jordan. It’s not funny. Just stop it.”
“It’s not me.”
Dan and Jordan returned to the lab where they were immediately confronted by the voice demanding an attorney and more food. They retreated to the café, leaving all their electronic devices behind, to ensure no one could overhear them.
“Let’s be scientific about this.”
“So what’s the hypothesis?”
“My working assumption is that someone it playing a trick on us. Let’s move the dodo to a new lab. Let’s use all new equipment and not let this derail us from what we’re doing.”
The dodo was fed, watered and moved into a more isolated lab. New equipment was brought in and Dan and Jordan resumed their scientific measurements and got ready for their next online podcast.
Just before they were about to go live the voice of the dodo was back.
I’m not acting in any of your videos. Not until you have brought an attorney and we’ve agreed a contract.
“Jordan, did that voice show up on the recording?”
“Uh. No. I don’t know why not.”
“It’s some clever trick that just affects me and you. Let’s ignore it and get the podcast done.”
“Dan. Quick – the dodo. Something’s happened. It’s dead”
The dodo was flopped on its side with its tongue hanging out.
Dan rushed across to the baby bird, which sat up before he got there. Just as he relaxed the bird flopped over again.
I can do this all day. All that your viewers will see is a dead dodo. Imagine how well that will go down.
“Is it dead?” asked Jordan.
“No. It’s breathing.”
“It looks dead.”
“Can’t you zoom in on its chest to show that it’s breathing? We can tell everyone that this is how dodos like to rest.”
Really. You plan to carry on with your exploitation?
“I can’t do it Dan.”
“Don’t let the voice get to you, Jordan.”
“It’s not that. I just can’t make it work. Wherever I point the camera the dodo still looks dead.”
Ha. So… are you going to get me that attorney?
“We’ll have to postpone the podcast.”
Over the next few days Dan used all of his scientific experience to try and isolate where the voice was coming from. Jordan helped for the first two days but then refused to do any more. He’d come to believe in the dodo.
“Come on Dan. You’ve tried everything. Remember when you’ve ruled out all the possible then whatever remains no matter how improbable must be true.”
“Improbable I could live with, but this… this is impossible.”
“You should be pleased. This is better than we’d hoped. We’ll be as big as Watson and Crick.”
“Haven’t you been listening to what the stupid bird has been saying. The dodo won’t let us take any credit. It’s already demanding the whole island of Mauritius. It wants all two million people shipped off and the land restored to how it was before human occupation.”
“That’s not our problem. What we’ve got to do is introduce the dodo consciousness to the world.”
“The world will laugh at us.”
“The world laughed at Charles Darwin.”
*
The baby dodo was growing rapidly. Already it was bigger than a chicken and eating more than a small child. Its full feathers were developing and its beak was becoming more and more vicious.
“Jordan believes you,” said Dan.
And you don’t?
“No.”
Then why are you talking to me.
“I’m not.”
The dodo turned its head on one side with a quizzical look.
Sound like you are to me.
Dan jumped back. The voice had definitely come from the dodo. It even moved its beak as it spoke.
Still don’t believe me.
Dan waved his hands above the bird to check for wires.
Dan. It’s time for you to get me an attorney.
“No.”
Attorney.
“No.”
Dan covered his ears with his hands but he couldn’t block out the voice.
Attorney. Attorney. Attorney. Attorney. Attorney. Attorney.
“Enough. That’s enough.”
*
Dan called Jordan.
“You’re right. It is the dodo.”
“At last. So what are we going to do?”
“It’s all sorted.”
“How do you mean?”
“Me and the dodo have come to an arrangement. Come over and I’ll explain.”
“Sure. I need to eat something so give me an hour.”
“Come now. I’ll cook.”
“Great. See you soon.”
*
“I love your chicken curry. The meat’s so good.”
“It’s not chicken.”
“What? No… you didn’t.”
“Let’s just say. You can see why people ate so many dodos. Look I’m sorry. But I had to do it. The damned bird just wouldn’t get out of my head.”
“You do realise you are now the only human in history responsible for a species going extinct not once but twice.”
“I know. But it was the right thing to do. I’ve just heard from the folks in Reykjavík. You won’t believe the trouble they are having with their resurrected Woolly Mammoth.”
“What’s happening?”
“It’s still not doing anything.”
“Have you clicked on it?”
“Course I have. It’s just whirling round. I think the wifi must be down.”
“The egg is about to hatch. If we don’t film it now there’s no second chance.”
“Hang on. Something’s happening. Yes. It’s working.”
Dan took a breath to calm himself, glanced down at his clipboard and began to read from his prepared speech.
“Today in this special live podcast you will witness history being made. This is the moment when Jurassic Park comes to life. We are resurrecting Raphus cucullatus. But don’t worry folks, it’s not a dinosaur. Raphus cucullatus is better known as the dodo. Extinct since 1662 but coming soon to a breakfast table near you.”
Dan laughed.
“That was a joke. Although dodo eggs weigh as much as twenty-five hen’s eggs, so just think about the omelette you could make.”
Dan saw slight movement in the egg. He pointed and Jordan zoomed the camera in. The egg cracked apart and the first dodo to be born for almost 400 years emerged covered in sticky yellow goo.
Dan continued to read through his prepared speech while Jordan moved the camera to capture the best views of the dodo. Dan was still in full flow when the tablet beeped and Jordan signalled that it was time to wrap things up.
“How was it?” said Dan.
“Fantastic. We started with over one thousand viewers and ended with over one hundred thousand. That’s our biggest audience ever.”
And is that what matters to you?
Both Dan and Jordan looked around to see who was speaking.
You’ve just resurrected an extinct species. And for what? To increase your audience? This is so typical of you lot. Exploiting dodos for your own ends.
Dan was worried that an activist had got through security but their lab was so small that no one could be hiding in it.
“Is it coming through the tablet?” he whispered.
Jordan didn’t think so but turned the tablet off anyway.
Now before we go any further I want an attorney.
“What? Why? And who are you?”
Down here you dumb dumb. I am dodo.
“You’re the dodo talking?”
I am not the dodo – I am dodo. I am every dodo that every lived. Every dodo that was killed by greedy humans. And I want justice. I want compensation. I want my island back.
Dan was sure this was a wind up. The newly hatched dodo was lying on its towel looking helpless. Its beak was open and it was making a rather loud squawky sort of noise. He passed it a bit of palm fruit which was believed to be what dodos ate. The dodo snatched it from his hand almost taking some of his finger as well.
Don’t think you can get round me with food. It’ll take more than that.
He couldn’t work out where the voice was coming from. It seemed to just arrive in his head. It definitely wasn’t the dodo. The dodo was busy eating.
Ha. What do you know about it? What is in front of you is just the manifestation of dodo. Just the conduit for dodo consciousness. And after 400 hundred years I’ve got a lot to say.
“Right. Good to know. We’re just popping out and we’ll be back to hear what you have to say shortly.”
Dan pulled Jordan out of the door and along the corridor.
“Is it you?”
“What?”
“Doing all this ‘I am dodo’ malarkey.”
“Course not. It’s the dodo. Didn’t you hear what it said?”
“Yeah right. Of course. How silly of me. It’s the dodo.”
“Dan. Think about it. This is even bigger. This is Nobel prize territory.”
“You can’t seriously expect me to believe that our new-born dodo chick is inhabited by the spirit of dodo and somehow able to talk English, even though the dodo was endemic to Mauritius.”
“It’s a bird. What language do you expect it to speak? Hah, pigeon English!
“Jordan. It’s not funny. Just stop it.”
“It’s not me.”
Dan and Jordan returned to the lab where they were immediately confronted by the voice demanding an attorney and more food. They retreated to the café, leaving all their electronic devices behind, to ensure no one could overhear them.
“Let’s be scientific about this.”
“So what’s the hypothesis?”
“My working assumption is that someone it playing a trick on us. Let’s move the dodo to a new lab. Let’s use all new equipment and not let this derail us from what we’re doing.”
The dodo was fed, watered and moved into a more isolated lab. New equipment was brought in and Dan and Jordan resumed their scientific measurements and got ready for their next online podcast.
Just before they were about to go live the voice of the dodo was back.
I’m not acting in any of your videos. Not until you have brought an attorney and we’ve agreed a contract.
“Jordan, did that voice show up on the recording?”
“Uh. No. I don’t know why not.”
“It’s some clever trick that just affects me and you. Let’s ignore it and get the podcast done.”
“Dan. Quick – the dodo. Something’s happened. It’s dead”
The dodo was flopped on its side with its tongue hanging out.
Dan rushed across to the baby bird, which sat up before he got there. Just as he relaxed the bird flopped over again.
I can do this all day. All that your viewers will see is a dead dodo. Imagine how well that will go down.
“Is it dead?” asked Jordan.
“No. It’s breathing.”
“It looks dead.”
“Can’t you zoom in on its chest to show that it’s breathing? We can tell everyone that this is how dodos like to rest.”
Really. You plan to carry on with your exploitation?
“I can’t do it Dan.”
“Don’t let the voice get to you, Jordan.”
“It’s not that. I just can’t make it work. Wherever I point the camera the dodo still looks dead.”
Ha. So… are you going to get me that attorney?
“We’ll have to postpone the podcast.”
Over the next few days Dan used all of his scientific experience to try and isolate where the voice was coming from. Jordan helped for the first two days but then refused to do any more. He’d come to believe in the dodo.
“Come on Dan. You’ve tried everything. Remember when you’ve ruled out all the possible then whatever remains no matter how improbable must be true.”
“Improbable I could live with, but this… this is impossible.”
“You should be pleased. This is better than we’d hoped. We’ll be as big as Watson and Crick.”
“Haven’t you been listening to what the stupid bird has been saying. The dodo won’t let us take any credit. It’s already demanding the whole island of Mauritius. It wants all two million people shipped off and the land restored to how it was before human occupation.”
“That’s not our problem. What we’ve got to do is introduce the dodo consciousness to the world.”
“The world will laugh at us.”
“The world laughed at Charles Darwin.”
*
The baby dodo was growing rapidly. Already it was bigger than a chicken and eating more than a small child. Its full feathers were developing and its beak was becoming more and more vicious.
“Jordan believes you,” said Dan.
And you don’t?
“No.”
Then why are you talking to me.
“I’m not.”
The dodo turned its head on one side with a quizzical look.
Sound like you are to me.
Dan jumped back. The voice had definitely come from the dodo. It even moved its beak as it spoke.
Still don’t believe me.
Dan waved his hands above the bird to check for wires.
Dan. It’s time for you to get me an attorney.
“No.”
Attorney.
“No.”
Dan covered his ears with his hands but he couldn’t block out the voice.
Attorney. Attorney. Attorney. Attorney. Attorney. Attorney.
“Enough. That’s enough.”
*
Dan called Jordan.
“You’re right. It is the dodo.”
“At last. So what are we going to do?”
“It’s all sorted.”
“How do you mean?”
“Me and the dodo have come to an arrangement. Come over and I’ll explain.”
“Sure. I need to eat something so give me an hour.”
“Come now. I’ll cook.”
“Great. See you soon.”
*
“I love your chicken curry. The meat’s so good.”
“It’s not chicken.”
“What? No… you didn’t.”
“Let’s just say. You can see why people ate so many dodos. Look I’m sorry. But I had to do it. The damned bird just wouldn’t get out of my head.”
“You do realise you are now the only human in history responsible for a species going extinct not once but twice.”
“I know. But it was the right thing to do. I’ve just heard from the folks in Reykjavík. You won’t believe the trouble they are having with their resurrected Woolly Mammoth.”